It’s not just a diet change, it’s a lifestyle change.
Are you ready? It’s OK, no one is. You don’t have to be ready. In fact, you’ll never be ready. You just need to want it. But you need to want it badly. Let’s get started.
I know what you’re thinking. “What a cheesy title! Really? All three heavy hitting challenges in one sentence. C’mon!” I know, it’s ambitious.
Contrary to my usual mystery-writer-style-suspense, I’m just going to get this out there so you can quickly decide if you want to bow out right now, tail between your legs and knock over the planter on your way out, or dare to challenge yourself and achieve weight, health, and financial euphoria. Go ahead and decide. Right now. You can come back–or not–I’ll be here.
How the Ferrari of blenders changed my life.
I’m switching to practical mode. No more Mr. Suspense. We’re talking about a $375 blender. It’s plain and simple.
Because you (like I did) will first say, “Uh, I can get a blender at Target for $39.” I have to explain why this blender is different. It’s simply speed and power. The mention of Ferrari is no accident: it has a larger and more powerful motor. It goes faster. A lot faster. That’s it. That’s the secret. Why does it matter? Because that speed liquifies fruits, vegetables and even greens instead of turning them into a slushy mush sewer-like glob that would be hard to swallow as soup much less drink. OK, that’s out of the bag. Got it? Don’t believe me? Try it. I did. Still, are you ready to spend $375? Yeah, either was I. Read on.
You’re not going to blend croissants.
But get creative. The beauty (and frankly, geeky David-Letterman-esque Will It Float-style Will It Blend? newfound kitchen curiosity) of that multi-horsepower motor on your kitchen counter is that it will pretty much blend any natural food into a creamy, juicy, bastion of tastes you probably haven’t experienced before. Experiment with your taste buds. Start off with the crazy healthy stuff. Go watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead for diet and juicing creative directions. Use the excellent recipe book that probably came with your blender. It will open up a world of new opportunities. No, really.
Bonus: your kids will eat healthier too. Sneak that [link to medium article] kale into the blueberry smoothie. They’ll never know. For the kids, they care mostly about color (for that first Is it too healthy looking? kids-version-of-food-intake-analysis). Then it’s taste. The blueberries (and strawberries and cantaloupe and mint etc.) will mask the potentially bitter taste of the kale (or spinach or carrots). Double bonus: they’ll love the berries which are already healthy then top that with kale and it’s win-win-win (you, kids, and kale).
You’re on your way to better health by just owning the thing.
Eat the good stuff first.
Here’s the basic math: if you’re eating healthier food first then you’re not going to be as hungry for the bad stuff afterwards. Let me also share a secret that you won’t believe until you get there: at some point, your body will crave the healthy stuff more than the bad stuff. I’m oddly addicted to green smoothies. I actually like the slightly bitter taste that smoothies with beets have.
Your stomach only has so much room. If you have a green smoothie first you just don’t have enough room for the 3-egg omelette and toast. Maybe you’ll have one egg–and no toast. You’ll be fuller faster on healthier food. Your body will soon learn to need less food. It can take a little while, but we’re talking days, not weeks.
There’s probably a chart out there with lines going up and down and there’s probably a point where if you truly ate too many healthy vegetables and fruits, you could actually gain weight. But I’m not sure you have time to eat all of that. By juicing your vegetables and fruits, you’re getting more nutrients and vitamins more quickly into your body.
Bonus: if you’re blending as opposed to juicing, you’re not losing the fiber that juicing loses (all of that sludge that comes of the back of the juicer). There’s more in blending because you’re actually eating (or drinking rather) that apple skin, the lemon rind and even the stalks of the mint leaves.
This is the part I get the most commentary on. You say, “Uh, blender guru, I spent $375 on a blender. How does that save me money? How do I make up the difference between the $39 blender and the $375 blender?” (For you non math freaks, that’s $336.)
Recycling & Replacing
No, I’m not putting plastic bottles into my Vitamix. I’m putting in the two slices of brown apple ($0.50) my 9-year old didn’t finish for lunch. That spinach in the fridge ($0.25) that’s doing that “wet black spinach” transformation, that goes in–don’t use the really really black stuff, that’s nasty. The handful of assorted nuts left over from the party last night ($1.00). The two scoops of vanilla yogurt no one is going to eat ($0.25). Finally, the half cantaloupe that was just too much for everyone and you won’t have time to eat it ($1.25). In it goes. Doesn’t seem like it adds up to much? I’m not done yet.
The ice cream dessert that the vanilla-yogurt-and-strawberry shake replaces ($4) after dinner. Home-made-already-sitting-in-the-fridge juices and/or smoothies from yesterday which is now for breakfast instead of orange juice ($3). Hold onto your hats, you’re not going to like this one, but I’m just that kind of guy: the dinner you skip when you Mini One-Night Juice Fast instead of chicken, rice, beans and salad ($12). Let’s call that a week.
$0.50 + .25 + 1 + .25 + 1.25 + 4 + 3 + 12 = $21.25 / week
Maybe you don’t do it every week, say every other week to be conservative: 52 weeks per year / 2 = 26 weeks, so 26 x $21. 25 = $552.50. How much was the bust-a-pound blender? $375.
You’re making money.
You’re eating healthier, losing weight and making money. I know what you’re thinking, “Why didn’t I start this sooner!? If only I had read this sooner!” I know, right? That’s what I was thinking. That’s why I wrote it.
Full disclosure: I did a three-week juice/smoothie fast and went almost juice/smoothie only for another 7 weeks or so and lost 26 pounds. I was the lightest and healthiest I’d been in a decade. I’ve permanently replaced breakfast with juice or smoothie at least 5 days per week and I try to replace one dinner per week with a smoothie or juice. I’m keeping the weight off, I truly “feel” better partly because I just plain don’t have 26 extra pounds I’m carrying around, and now that I’ve had the Vitamix for a while, I’m just raking in the dough. Pun intended. 😉
- Possible: live with Alice (in Wonderland) and pretend your blender can liquify things.
- Impossible: make peanut butter out of peanuts in your (regular) blender.
- Repossible: spend $375 for a motor with a blade and plastic container on top of it and … improve your life.
Think I’m kidding? I don’t joke about my health and finances. Here’s the one I own, it’s an “older” model but works great: Vitamix 5200.