It’s become bigger than me.
February 13, 2017
I don’t seem to have so much “control” anymore. Maybe control isn’t quite the right word because people usually want control. Maybe I’m just the passenger and my writing is in the driver’s seat and once in a while, I can make a suggestion and we may or may not go that way. Or, to continue with the driving analogy, I was powering away in 5th gear but now I’m in that 6th gear that some cars have. Using less energy to go even faster and further.
I have the benefits of the journey (the view, the adventure, the education, etc.) but I don’t have to worry about which exit to take and if we have enough windshield wiper fluid. I roll down the window and let the wind rush through my hair and I close my eyes and see everything. (No, I didn’t mis-write that.)
It’s quite a lovely role to be in, frankly. I just write and I’m more the messenger. I don’t choose so much what to write or when or how, but I just do it. I’ve become the executive assistant to something greater than myself.
Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop
Don’t worry: I can’t stop. Don’t worry: I won’t stop.
People plead with me not to stop because they are following along. They don’t want me to slow down as maybe they will slow down. They don’t want me to stop ascending as I am pulling them up with me and if I start heading down, they might head down with me.
As it has grown to larger than myself, it has gone beyond myself. I feel that I have already achieved my dream and that I am already full-swing living it. I am so thankful to be where I already am and I just want to give, give, give.
I’m working together with partners and our work far exceeds the logical 1 + 1 math. It is so much beyond 2 that mathematicians scratch their heads.
4 books, 2 podcasts and 1 online course are pleading for my attention and I wake up with a child-like enthusiasm* and mostly just decide where to focus my attention. But each one is where my heart is and it’s bittersweet when I choose one project over the other.
But none of what concerns me is as rewarding as what touches others.
Just yesterday, day 1,599 if I were a counting kind of guy, a woman said to me, “You have transformed what was only a dream into a reality for me.”
Wait. Did she say something like, “what she previously thought was impossible was now possible”? (Here’s her story.)
I could put a list of accomplishments here, maybe a numbered list of top posts in the past 100, but there are just two items that give me more joy and happiness (they’re not the same) than the rest:
- Living my own dream. But the best part is now that I’m there, I see that there is so much more.
- Helping others turn their dreams into realities. Once you get past yourself, you only want to give. The secret, which you can’t know until you get here, is that giving is loads more fun than receiving.
You know something is bigger than yourself when you only want to share it. I have to admit that it’s also partly because there is just too much for just one person. I can’t not share it, I can’t not help others, I can’t not give.
I realize it might sound a little cheesy or even Disney, living my dream, but I can live with cheesy and Disney. I can think of worse things.
People ask me how I keep up the momentum, but as I started out this 1,600-day update, it’s no longer my power that’s thrusting this ship forward. I’m just hanging on for the ride and enjoying it wherever it’s taking us. It no longer takes my momentum. I no longer push, I’m being pulled.
To end with a cheesy quote, I turn to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when he’s going a bit crazy and is about to get in the car although he’s obviously deranged. In a voice possessed by someone wilder than himself, he asks, “Don’t you want to go for a ride?”
- Possible: drive
- Impossible: drive and ride shotgun
- Repossible: ride shotgun and enjoy the ride
* Think “child-like enthusiasm” for a child waking up for camp or vacation … 😉